You’re ready to give yourself mind-blowing orgasms and ramp up your sex life with a vibrator.

But you’re uncertain about the exact mechanics of using one.

Don’t worry, it’s totally normal to feel a bit confused when you’re new to sex toys.

Even the most experienced vibrator professionals started out as novices.

About half of Americans use a vibrator, so rest assured, there’s nothing unusual about it!

Before we get into the details of how to use one of these wonderful tools, let’s cover the best option in case you don’t have one yet.


The Best Option- The Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator

Vibrators come in all shapes, sizes, and price ranges.

So it can be hard to choose one that’s the best option all around.

50 Shades of Grey vibratorHowever, the 50 Shades of Grey Greedy Girl makes the cut. Some women prefer internal stimulation while others like external vibrations better.

This one delivers both at once!

The external area has bunny ears that hit your love button and the shaft is generous without being intimidatingly large. The combination results in tantalizing sensations in both the clitoris and G-spot.

If you’re completely new to vibrators, you may want to use this without the vibrations at first. Otherwise, it may be a bit overwhelming.

Alternatively, you can start out with a simpler toy like a bullet vibrator, then work your way up to the Greedy Girl Rabbit toy.

If you’re curious about other categories and models, check out our guide on a variety of vibrator types.

All You Need to Know About Using a Vibrator

A lot of women get embarrassed because they either buy their first toy or receive one as a gift and can’t figure out how to use it.

It might feel painful at first for some ladies, or the vibrations may feel like way too much.

The first thing I want to tell you is that this is completely normal for beginners to experience!

There’s nothing wrong with you.

Sex toys aren’t always intuitive to use, which is why guides like this exist.

So here are my top tips for using your new vibrator.

Before you know it, you’ll be shaking in ecstasy and eager to use it again and again.

Read the Manual

I know this doesn’t sound very exciting, but the best way to know what to expect from a new toy is to read all about it before you use it.

Most toys come with a manual that you can go over to make sure you know exactly how to operate it. You can check out the pattern settings, vibration options, how to charge it, and more.

For more information, you can search online and learn more about the specific vibrator you have.

Get Warmed Up

Jumping right into using a sex toy without any preparation is a recipe for discomfort. In fact, this is where many first-timers go wrong.

Here’s the deal:

Before you use your toy, do whatever you need to get in the mood, whether it’s reading erotica, fantasizing, or sexting with your boyfriend.

As soon as you feel nice and excited, you’re ready to proceed. But first…

Grab Some Lube

Even if you’re wet and ready to go, I still recommend using lube every time you play with a sex toy. A high-quality lube provides a barrier between the sensitive tissues in your vagina and the material of the vibrator.

Plus, it makes the area feel more slippery and pleasant, which increases arousal.

Now:

Using a water-based lube is best, generally speaking. Silicone-based lubricant is great, but it’s not compatible with silicone toys, which is a downside.

Start Without Vibrations

Before you use your new vibrator with the vibrating feature turned on, start out using it with the vibes turned off. This can get you accustomed to the feeling of penetration without overwhelming you with sensations.

From there, you can work your way up, first using the lowest vibration setting, then increasing it as you go.

Many vibrators come with a variety of settings, from a constant level of vibration, to pulsing sensations, and everything in between.

Take your time and get to know your toy, so you can figure out firsthand what you prefer.

Experiment With Direct vs. Indirect Contact

There’s no way to know the amount of contact you’ll prefer when using your vibrator, until you experiment with it.

Some women enjoy holding their vibrator against the outside of their panties rather than directly against their vagina. Others like to stimulate their labia but not put the toy on their clitoris.

But most women will enjoy directly stimulating their clit with their toy and also adding penetration to the mix.

Try out all of the above to see what you prefer!

Try Out Different Penetration Techniques

If you’re totally new to using a vibrator, start out using it externally (against your clitoris). Then, you can try out different techniques for penetration.

Some women like to insert their vibrator inside and leave it in one place, allowing the vibrations to pleasure them without much extra motion.

Others enjoy deeper penetration or fast thrusting motions. And some like longer, slower strokes. Experiment and figure out what works best for you.

I personally recommend switching between penetration and clitoral stimulation.

And if you use a rabbit vibrator like the Greedy Girl model I mentioned earlier, you get the best of both worlds at the same time.

Enjoy the Journey

Sometimes, people get so focused on the destination (orgasm) that they forget to enjoy the journey there. When you put too much pressure on yourself to reach climax, it can take the fun out of using your toy.

Here’s the deal:

Your masturbation sessions with your vibrator are your chance to get to know yourself sexually. You’ll figure out what you like and what you don’t like.

But it will take much longer if you don’t relax and take the pressure off yourself.

Take your time, go slowly, and enjoy the ride. If you do that, you’ll be reaching amazing orgasms in no time.

Vibrator Cleanliness

sex toy wipesSoon, I’ll cover the main categories of vibrating toys, so you can confidently use each type. But no matter which type you end up with, you must wash it before and after every use.

Your vagina is a sensitive area that won’t respond well to foreign contaminants. So, use gentle soap and water to clean your toy (or a designated sex toy cleaner).

Once your toy has been properly sterilized, keep it stored either in its original container or a drawstring bag.

For more information, read my guide on how to clean sex toys.

How to Use Different Types of Vibrators

sex educator teaching a lesson on vibrators

Vibrators come in all shapes, sizes, and designs, but there are a few main categories that most of them fit into.

There are a few toys that will be like a hybrid between these types or even in a league of their own.

But after reading my guide below, you’ll be able to use most any vibrator you come across on the market.

Keep in mind:

If you’re ever uncertain about using a specific type of toy, looking at the shape of the model should be enough to help you figure out your starting point. And when in doubt, check the manual of the product.

As I briefly mentioned earlier, I always recommend warming yourself up first and applying lube before using a toy.

Below, I’ll define a few of the most common types on the market and how to use each.

Using a Standard Vibrator

woman holding a vibrator in bedA standard vibrator has a long, straight tube shape with a vibrating mechanism inside. Some are rechargeable and have a cord, while others take batteries.

Odds are, you’ll either have to plug your vibrator in to charge when it first arrives or insert batteries into it. Many models don’t come with batteries, so you’ll likely need to buy them separately.

Next, get to know the different vibration patterns and controls on the toy.

Test out your toy on both the inside and outside of your vagina. Start out with the lowest level of vibration before ramping up the power.

Play around with different amounts of pressure to see what you like best.

Using a Rabbit Vibrator

rabbit vibratorA rabbit vibrator (like the Greedy Girl mentioned earlier in the article) is more advanced than an ordinary vibrator. It has a shaft to stimulate your G-spot and a clitoral arm with “rabbit ears” that stimulate your clitoris.

This is a good option for women who like the feel of vibrations on their internal and external spots at the same time.

If you’ve never used a rabbit toy before, get one with a long, wide clitoral arm. Since every woman is shaped differently, this will help ensure that the rabbit toy hits your spots adequately.

Some models of this type of vibrator even have independently functioning motors on the shaft and clitoral arm.

This means that you can have a different vibration pattern for each, creating totally unique sensations.

Using a G-Spot Vibrator

g spot vibratorG-spot vibrators, as you may have guessed by the name, are regular vibrators designed to hit your G-spot.

These toys have a curve towards the end of the insertable part of the toy to perfectly hit your inner love button.

Some women can only orgasm from this type of internal stimulation rather than clitoral vibrations. So, if you’re one of them, this is the type of toy to go for.

Now:

Make sure that you’re using plenty of lube with this type of toy, so that you can thrust it deeply enough to provide the direct pleasure you seek.

If it takes you a while to locate your G-spot, don’t worry about it.

This is totally normal, especially if you’ve never used a toy to specifically target the area before. If you don’t find it right away, try rotating the toy and inserting it at different lengths until you find it.

Using a Clit Vibrator

clitoral vibratorClitoral vibrators are meant to massage your clit with vibrations. And since most women need this type of direct stimulation, this type of toy might become your new best friend!

There are tons of different types of clitoral vibrators. Some models come with a wide variety of pulsations and patterns and some come with just one or two speeds.

I recommend using a clitoral vibrator that has a range of vibration options. That way, you can select a lower vibration and slowly build up to your orgasms.

This also makes the toy better for having multiple orgasms in one session. Since the clitoris is so sensitive, you can start using the toy on your labia instead of applying direct stimulation right away.

Then, you can work your way to orgasm by hitting your spot more directly.

Clitoral vibrators are a great toy to pair with sex since they’re designed for external use. Add them to lovemaking sessions with your partner for extra intense sensations!

Using a Wand Vibrator

the top of a wand massagerWand sex toys are in their own unique category because they have an innovative shape that’s different from phallic vibrators.

The stimulation from a wand vibrator comes from the large head on the device, which is separate from the toy’s handle.

Wand vibrators are designed to pleasure your clitoris with high-powered vibrations. A lot of women report being unable to last more than a couple minutes with a wand toy!

They’re super comfortable to hold for long periods of time and deliver intense orgasms fast. Some women like to switch between using them against their labia and their clit.

Now:

Since the vibrations from these toys are so strong, I recommend moving the wand around consistently as you use it.

This will help prevent the numbness that sometimes comes from too much vibration against your sensitive areas.

Keep in mind that wand vibrators usually come with a cord, so that can limit mobility a bit. However, many people think the unique power offered by this type of adult toy is a worthy tradeoff.

Using a Bullet Vibrator

bullet vibratorBullet vibrators are a good choice for women who want something small and discreet as their sex toy.

Bullets are usually only three or four inches in size, so they’re great to take on the road. They don’t look like an obvious sex toy, which is a huge plus if you like your privacy.

Many women require clitoral stimulation instead of penetration to reach orgasm. If this applies to you, a bullet is a good potential option.

Just keep in mind that bullets are very compact and don’t offer much penetration. Rather, they’re best for rubbing against your clitoris, labia, and the opening of your vagina.

Some bullets have a flat side and a curved side for varied sensations. And another major draw of this category of toy is how easily you can add them to sex.

They’re so small that you can put them against your clitoris while you’re being penetrated for amazing sensations.

Adding a Vibrator to Sex

Vibrators are not only great for solo playtime but can also be a good way to spice up your sex life.

Below, I’ll add some fun ways to do that.

Using a Toy for Foreplay

There are countless ways you can use a vibrating toy for foreplay. Buzz it against your nipples or rub it along the outside of your panties to get your blood flowing.

Using a vibrator on yourself during foreplay or sex is an obvious (and good) idea. But don’t be afraid to share the love with your partner. Some men love the feel of vibrations on the top of their penis.

And if you have a female partner, you can use a vibrator on her in the same way you’d use it on yourself, of course.

Adding Anal Stimulation

Adding vibrations to your anal area can be a unique way to introduce new sensations to sex with your partner. If you’re using a toy anally, you need to use lots of lube to protect the sensitive tissues in the area.

Just make sure that the toy you’re using has a handle or flared base, otherwise it can easily get stuck inside the rectum.

If your toy doesn’t have a handle of flared base, stick to using it against the outside of the anal area.

This will bring your sex to a whole new level!

Using One in Addition to Penetration

Many women can’t orgasm from just penetration, so adding some extra stimulation is all they need for explosive climaxes during sex.

Keeping a sex toy near your bed to add to intercourse is a great way to make sure you can have consistent orgasms when you’re in bed with your partner.

I personally recommend using a bullet vibrator along with sex since they’re so small and won’t get in the way.

You can add it to doggy style sex or even missionary. Don’t be afraid to get creative and experiment a little!

How to Use a Vibrator on a Woman- Tips for Men and Partners

All great partners want to deliver groundbreaking ecstasy to their lovers.

But if you don’t have a vagina yourself, it can be hard to know how to pleasure one with a toy.

Here are some tips to help you find success with this:

Ask Her to Show You

If you’re newly incorporating a vibrator into playtime with your partner, ask her to show you what she likes.

The clitoris is extremely sensitive, for some women more than others. And certain ladies can’t handle vibrations directly on the area.

If your partner has a super sensitive clit, use the vibrator around the area instead of touching it directly. Then ask her to use the toy on herself while you watch.

This is not only a sexy activity to do together but will be the best way to see what sensations she prefers.

Start Slow

Less is more, especially when you’re with a new partner and aren’t certain about what she likes. Use the vibrator on the outside of her panties before providing direct stimulation.

This can be a fun way to tease her and build up the sexual tension.

Another way to start out slow is to use low-powered vibrations initially. You can always ramp up the power later, but she might be sensitive, so low-key vibes are best at first.

Invite Her to Direct You

Let your partner know that you’re okay with being coached. Some women will be shy to tell you that something is too much or that she wants it faster, for example.

But, if you let her know ahead of time you’re eager to learn how to please her and invite honesty, she’ll feel more comfortable sharing.


I hope that this guide was helpful for you and that the information brings you many satisfying orgasms!

If you need advice on purchasing a vibrator, please see my complete vibrator buying guide here.


Jessica Winter
Jessica Winter

Hey I'm Jessica! Thanks so much for reading my work. I've been studying the Sex Therapy industry for years, and my absolute passion is helping men and women improve their sex lives! I really hope my work here is helpful, and I will continue to do my best at providing value for you!