Guide on prostate play and massages

You’re intrigued by the idea of prostate orgasms, but don’t know where to start.

You might even doubt that you’re capable of having one.

But let me assure you:

As long as you have a prostate, you have what you need to experience a prostate orgasm.

In this article, I’ll cover all the basics of prostate milking (massage).

I’ll also give you some tools and techniques to awaken your prostate.

With this information and my guidance, you can experience the full range of pleasure your body is capable of.

You can do this alone, or with a partner.


Prostate Orgasms

You already know that penile orgasms are fun. But there’s another organ that needs your attention!

By ignoring your prostate, you’re seriously missing out on the capacity for mind-blowing, full-body orgasms.

The prostate is a small gland that helps to create semen. Some even consider it the male version of the G-spot. Like the G-spot, the prostate can create intense climactic sensations when stimulated the right way.

The prostate can orgasm without ejaculation, so many guys can have intense prostate orgasms without shedding any semen.

Intrigued yet?

If you’re ready to explore this new territory, keep in mind that it may take a while to reach prostate orgasm.

But rest assured that while it usually takes some time to get there, prostate orgasms are easier to have once you’ve already had one.

Like any other new venture, the biggest part of achieving prostate orgasm is believing you can.

What is Prostate Milking?

Prostate milking is essentially prostate massage or stimulation.

Anyone with a prostate can enjoy this stimulation despite their sexual orientation.

People report that prostate milking feels incredible and can lead to amazing orgasms.

The climaxes reported last much longer than penile orgasms.

But here’s the kicker:

Prostate milking has positive effects on your health. In addition to these benefits, you can prolong your pleasure and keep up with your partner via prostate milking.

Hearing all this, you probably want to learn how to stimulate your prostate ASAP. And I don’t blame you!

What Does a Prostate Orgasms Feel Like?

While orgasms are highly individual experiences, there are some common factors that people report with prostate climaxes.

Many men report that a prostate orgasm involves the entire body instead of just the groin. The pleasurable feeling lasts much longer than an ordinary orgasm and feels similar to the beginning waves of a typical climax.

However, the prostate orgasm is more expansive and feels like “riding a wave.” It’s described as much stronger than a penile climax.

Since you can have a prostate orgasm without ejaculating, many people can ride the climactic wave for a long time.

This type of orgasm belongs in a category of its own, as it’s a completely unique sensation.

If you’re one of the many guys who have been a bit envious of the diversity of female sexual experience, prostate stimulation is a great next step for you.

Adding prostate milking to your sexual repertoire can be a good way to expand your horizons. Instead of being limited to receiving sexual pleasure from just one area (the penis), you can feel it in your entire body.

And who would say no to that?

Note that while the prostate orgasm doesn’t feel like a penile orgasm, you can experience both simultaneously.

Prostate Play Benefits

I briefly mentioned earlier that prostate play has some health benefits associated with it. Regularly stimulating the area can strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.

In addition, prostate milking can flush out the gland and even help prevent prostate cancer. These are a few reasons why proctologists often recommend prostate milking to their patients.

In addition to these physical benefits, prostate orgasms bring a novel type of pleasure. Instead of having the same old orgasms over and over, this can add a whole new dimension to your sexual experiences.

How to Find Your Prostate

diagram of the prostate

If you have a penis, you have a prostate.

The prostate is about an inch wide and has a firm feel with some slight give. The prostate should be easy to find as it feels distinct from the rectum.

When a man is aroused, his prostate will swell and become firmer, which makes it even easier to locate.

This gland is comparable to the female G-spot in terms of causing deep orgasms and how far inside the body it’s located. You’ll also use similar shaped toys to stimulate the G-spot and the prostate.

If you’re completely new to having items inserted in your rectum, you may want to start with locating your prostate externally.

While this method isn’t as direct, it can be an effective way to get familiar with the gland.

To find the prostate externally, press between the anus and testicles.

You should feel a firm bulge in this area. Once you locate the gland, you can stroke it from the outside using a toy or your fingers.

Note that before you insert anything into your rectum, you’ll need a high-quality anal lubricant.

You’ll apply some lube to your anus and your finger before you insert it. I’ll give some more information on selecting a good lubricant later on in the article.

Once you’ve applied your lube, you’re ready to start.

To locate the prostate internally, you’ll have to reach 3 to 4 inches inside the rectum. The prostate sits on the same side as your belly, below the bladder.

Most men can insert their finger about halfway to reach the prostate. But everyone is different and for some guys, the gland sits farther up and requires deeper penetration.

Other guys don’t have long enough fingers to reach their own prostate and need a toy to stimulate it.

To locate your prostate, start by inserting your finger into your anus and pressing on the front wall of your rectum (towards the stomach). Keep pushing your finger in a little deeper and pressing until you find the gland.

Now:

When you press on the gland, you will probably feel like you need to urinate. This is a totally normal and healthy response.

If you managed to find your prostate with these simple techniques, congratulations!

If not, don’t worry. We’ve got you covered in our “Prostate Massagers” section.

7 Steps for Preparing to Have a Prostate Orgasm

Some men find that prostate orgasms are difficult to achieve.

Some even milk and massage their prostate gland regularly without getting an orgasm from it.

It’s important to note that, while a prostate orgasm is a good goal, prostate stimulation is worthwhile with or without an orgasm.

Here are some steps to help prepare you and make it likelier that you will achieve a prostate orgasm.

1. Keep an Open Mind

Start by acknowledging that you have a prostate, and therefore you possess everything necessary for having a prostate orgasm. The biggest block to having mind-blowing prostate orgasms is mental resistance.

Maybe you don’t believe it’s possible for you, or you simply aren’t comfortable with anal penetration yet.

If it’s your own discomfort holding you back, I recommend experimenting more with external prostate play before proceeding to internal.

It’s totally okay to be hesitant!

Wherever you are is completely valid. This is your journey and you have every right to move at your own pace.

2. Be Gentle

Your anus and prostate are extremely sensitive, so gentleness is key.

While you can always increase pressure later, if you hurt yourself now, play time is over.

Do yourself a favor and go easy on these areas. If you decide you want more intensity, you can always add it gradually.

3. Start With Solo Play

If you’re totally new to butt stuff, you’ll definitely want to start out with solo exploration. This will help you get familiar with your equipment before you bring someone else into the mix.

Starting with solo prostate play will give you the advantage of knowing where your gland is and what sensations you like there.

Then you can share this information with a partner and have them pleasure you.

4. Start (Very) Slow

If you’re completely new to anal play, you’re going to want to start slow.

For many guys, inserting anything in the rectum is totally unexplored territory.

You may have even considered it unthinkable at one time.

Here’s the deal:

The anal sphincter muscles are extremely elastic, but they’re also slow to relax. At first, they may feel very tight. Over time, as you experiment more with prostate play, they’ll adapt, and penetration will become easier.

For successful prostate play, you need to be as relaxed as possible. And for that to work, you’ll need to take plenty of breaks.

Eventually, you’ll work your way up to inserting a toy or fingers into your butt and staying aroused and relaxed. Then you’ll be in the prime state of mind to have a prostate orgasm.

But you shouldn’t expect to achieve this level of relaxation with anal penetration immediately. It takes time to get familiar with these new sensations. So, try to enjoy the journey.

5. Prostate Orgasm Prep

To have a prostate orgasm, you need to be relaxed. And it can be hard to relax fully if you haven’t taken the necessary steps to avoid mess.

The most basic prep step you can take for prostate play is to have a bowel movement. This will ensure a cleaner experience and make it less likely that you’ll encounter any feces in the rectum.

Next, you can take a shower and clean the outer anus area.

To take this a step further, insert a soaped-up finger into your anus to clean the immediate inside area.

anal doucheIf these steps aren’t enough for you to feel truly clean, you can use an anal douche to flush out your rectum.

To use this tool, fill the bulb with lukewarm water and lube up the tip of it.

Insert it into your anus and release the water inside, allowing it to drain out into the toilet. Repeat until the water runs clear.

Ask your partner to trim their fingernails and trim your own, as well. This will prevent any discomfort, as the anal tissues are very sensitive and can be easily irritated.

You can find out more about steps for preparation in my anal hygiene guide.

6. Warm Up

Arousal is the key ingredient in achieving prostate orgasm. Your rectum and anus must be relaxed to receive pleasurable penetration.

When you’re stressed out, the muscles will tighten up, which can lead to discomfort. Anyone who’s complained about painful anal likely had this problem.

When you’re turned on, on the other hand, your sphincter gets looser. In an aroused state, your prostate swells and becomes more sensitive.

Similar to the G-spot, your prostate is likelier to give you an orgasm when you’re already feeling sexual.

No one knows what turns you on more than you, so do what you need to do to get in the mood. This can mean a sensual full-body massage or oral sex with your partner.

7. Lube Up

The rectum is not a self-lubricating body part, so you’ll need to supply the lube.

Using a high-quality lubricant will protect the sensitive tissues in your butt and increase your pleasure.

Wicked Anal LubricantSimply put, you can’t insert something into your anus without lube (at least not comfortably). Select a lubricant specifically formulated for anal play.

These products will have a thicker consistency that lasts longer, so you won’t need to pause and reapply as often.

Oil or silicone-based lubricants last longer than water-based, but they’re harder to clean up. Water-based lubricants are compatible with all sex toys, but need to be reapplied more often than oil or silicone-based types.

Whatever type you select, make sure you use plenty of it. You’ll need to get the lube up inside of your anus, so you may have to reapply a few times when you’re first getting started.

If you’re having trouble getting the lube up inside of you, you can try out a lube syringe. These products can help you make sure your rectum is sufficiently coated.

For more information, check out my guide on the best anal lubricants.

Time to Start Your Prostate Massage

There isn’t really a right way to massage your prostate.

You should do (or ask your partner to do) whatever feels good for you.

While some people enjoy a quick thrusting motion, others like a more direct pressure on the gland. Some men enjoy clenching their anus against their partner’s fingers or a toy.

Feel free to experiment here to find what you like.

Generally speaking, the prostate tends to prefer repetitive, firm pressure. Start out soft and increase intensity as you go, as this area can be very sensitive.

And remember:

As long as you’re being safe, there’s no right or wrong way to do it.

Using Your Fingers

Fingers are a good place to start with prostate massage.

While they’re undeniably the most convenient, they aren’t as efficient as toys for a few reasons.

Firstly, fingers get tired after a while, unlike toys. A prostate orgasm can take many hours to achieve, and most people don’t have the finger stamina for that.

Another potential drawback to only using your fingers is that the angle can feel awkward if you’re doing the stimulation yourself.

I recommend experimenting both with your fingers and with toys.

Note that it may take some time to find the stimulation you prefer, so don’t be afraid to experiment.

Here are some techniques you can start with:

  • Circular Movements: For this technique, move your fingers in a circular motion around your prostate. You can make either small or big circles.
  • Stroking: The next technique you can try is gentle stroking. Imagine that you’re signalling for someone to “come here” with your finger as you stroke your prostate gland.
  • Pressing: This one is pretty self-explanatory. You stimulate your prostate gland by pressing on it. Start gentle and apply more pressure as you see fit.

Prostate Massagers

Lelo Hugo Prostate MassagerAs I mentioned before, massaging your prostate using fingers alone can get tiring.

A prostate massager makes your job easier and will be perfectly shaped to hit your spot.

Since they’re designed specifically for anal use, prostate massagers will have a handle or flared base.

Always use toys designed for the butt when you’re doing any anal play, otherwise the toy can get stuck easily.

Prostate massagers come in all shapes and types, but every kind is designed to fit around or sit on the prostate.

They have a firm design that will press against your prostate and you can angle them for more focused pleasure.

Another major advantage to using a tool over your fingers for prostate stimulation is vibrations. Fingers don’t vibrate, so this added element can be just what you need to go over the edge.

Before you insert the toy, make sure you apply plenty of lube both to the tool and your anus. Insert it with the curve facing upward towards your stomach. Then you can try one of these techniques:

  • Thrusting: Once the toy is inserted, you can gently thrust it in and out in whatever way you prefer. Some people prefer to turn the vibration function on and let it sit there instead of moving it.
  • Hands-Free: Or you can let the toy sit where it is and clench and unclench your anus muscles. This can make the toy hit your prostate as you flex your sphincter.
  • Adding External: Another option you may like to try is adding a bit of external pressure to your prostate while you have your toy inserted. While this will feel a bit too intense for some, others will like it.

Using one of these toys can be an amazing addition to penile masturbation. They’re also fun to wear during sex.

You’re only limited by your imagination here, so get creative.

Check out one of our favorite prostate massagers here.

Prostate Milking (Pre-Cum)

When your prostate has been stimulated for a while, you may notice that your penis starts leaking white fluid. This is where the term “prostate milking” comes from.

This fluid is the main component of ejaculation without the sperm in it. If you’re prostate milking for health reasons, you can focus on this for a while to make sure the gland is cleaned out.

For people who are focused more on pleasure, milking is a sign that you may be nearing orgasm. Take it as proof that you’re on the right track!

Positions for Easy Prostate Access

Most people will start out on their back when they’re first experimenting with prostate play.

But if you’re still having trouble finding or stimulating your prostate, you can mix it up and see if you have better luck.

Whether you’re experimenting on your own or with a partner, it can be easier to find and massage your prostate if you lie a different way.

Here are some positions to try during sex or masturbation:

  • Legs Up: Some men have an easier time finding their prostate when they lift their legs closer to their chest. If you aren’t very flexible, you can try bending your knees in this position.
  • Face Down: Needless to say, lying face down leaves your anus in a much more approachable position. This gives easier access for people who are playing with a partner, but may make prostate masturbation more difficult.
  • On Your Side: Still having trouble? You may have better luck reaching your prostate if you lie on your side instead of your back or stomach. This can make your prostate easier to reach for you or a partner.

Reaching Prostate Climax

Now that we’ve covered all the basics on prostate massage, it’s time to get to the good stuff:

Having a prostate orgasm.

Now:

You’ve found your prostate and experimented to find what feels good. Perhaps you’ve even noticed a fair amount of pre-cum during your sessions.

If you’re still having difficulties reaching orgasm, don’t fear. There are a few tried and true techniques you can test out.

Push Yourself Beyond

I mentioned earlier that when you find your prostate and press on it, you may experience a sudden urge to urinate. Some men back off prostate stimulation when they feel this, out of fear of wetting themselves.

However, you must push through this feeling to reach prostate orgasm.

Instead of easing up when you feel the urge to urinate, keep going and see if you can climax that way.

Delay Pleasure

One way to inch yourself closer to prostate release is to jerk off as you would normally, but bring yourself to the edge and stop.

Do this a few times before you begin any prostate stimulation.

This will help blood flow to the area, keep you aroused, and increase your odds of having a mind-blowing prostate release.

You may also do this in between prostate massage if you need a break.

Dual Stimulation

While prostate stimulation can be tons of fun on its own, why not combine forces?

You can masturbate with your penis while your partner massages your prostate, or add prostate play to oral sex.

Introducing prostate massagers to standard sex is another idea to try out with your partner.

Strengthen Your Kegel Muscles

Your Kegel muscles control genital blood flow and urination.

Adding some Kegel exercises to your daily routine can strengthen your pelvic floor and give you more intense prostate orgasms.

Practice these for a while, until they feel nice and strong. Then, next time you feel like you’re getting close to prostate climax, engage your pelvic floor to see if it sends you over the edge.

Try for an External Orgasm

I briefly mentioned earlier that you can stimulate your prostate from the outside. External prostate orgasms are rarer than internal climaxes, but they are possible.

You may be one of the few who has more luck with an external approach rather than internal. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, everyone is different.

So, if you find that orgasm just isn’t happening for you with your fingers or prostate massager, try pressing on the gland from the outside to see if you can climax that way.

Communication

This next point really only applies to people who are exploring prostate milking and orgasms with a partner.

Whether you’re the giver or receiver, communication is essential every step of the way.

Always make sure your partner is okay with anal play before you spring it on them. Ask them what they like and what you can improve upon. And try to get skilled at communicating your own sexual needs.

Prostate play is extremely intimate.

I recommend discussing boundaries and what you’re each comfortable with before you even explore this territory physically.

And once you have explored it, have an open dialogue about it afterwards.

Still Not Feeling it?

Despite all of the great advice in this article, you may still not be enjoying prostate play.

Or perhaps you’re having a great time with it, but orgasm just hasn’t happened for you.

Again, this doesn’t mean there’s something wrong. You may just need a little more time to get familiar with this new part of your body.

Keep experimenting to find what feels good. And if you don’t find it, that’s also fine. Not everyone is going to enjoy prostate stimulation.

Now you have all the information you need to regularly stimulate your own prostate for health and pleasure.

Happy exploring!