Selecting restraint toys can be confusing.
There are so many different kinds.
Fortunately, a little bit of education goes a long way towards narrowing down the choice that’s right for you.
Here’s what you need to know about the best restraint sets and handcuffs for getting kinky in bed.
What to Know About Flexibility When it Comes to BDSM Restraints
Flexibility is important to consider when it comes to BDSM restraint sets and handcuffs. Not everyone has the same level of flexibility, and different body parts can be more or less flexible than others. In fact, sometimes one side of your body may be less or more flexible than the other side.
How does this come into play when you're restraining someone or being restrained?
Some people may not be able to use certain restraint sets in certain ways that are fine for other people. Binding someone's arms behind their back with handcuffs may sound simple enough, but some individuals don't have enough flexibility in their shoulders to touch their hands together behind their back.
In that case, you'll want to find handcuffs or other forms of restraint that allow them to keep their wrists further apart. Most forms of restraint can be modified for less flexible individuals. Remember, being the most flexible or being restrained in the most pretzel-like shape is not the goal of restraint play.
What matters is that you and your partner are both having a good time based on your personal desires and abilities. Take care to be aware of yours and your partner’s flexibility levels for various types of restraint, and if something hurts in a bad way, stop doing it.
If you push yourself or your partner too far, you may end up not being able to play again for a long while, while healing. And that's no fun for anybody. This is also something to keep in mind when selecting the right restraint sets for yourself.
Safety Issues for Bondage and Restraint Play
In addition to flexibility, there are other safety issues associated with restraint play.
Here are a couple of the big ones:
Never leave someone tied up or restrained alone.
If you are playing with restraints, you should be in the room with the person. A tie or restraint system may seem safe, but if they cannot get free without your assistance, it’s possible that an accident or emergency could occur that could get them into a serious situation.
Even just the buildup of anxiety from being left alone restrained can cause serious injury. For instance, if you leave a restrained person alone too long, and they start crying, they could end up choking on their mucus. It’s not funny; it can actually happen. Don’t leave someone restrained alone.
They could also panic and cause themselves to end up in a dangerous position in the restraints, posing a falling hazard, a choking hazard, or a nerve injury.
Preventing Nerve Injuries
Speaking of nerve injuries, those are a serious safety issue for bondage and restraint play. This issue is more likely when you are restraining someone with rope. And that's one of the reasons why it's so important to be informed and take lessons for tying someone up with rope. Never just start tying with rope if you have no knowledge or experience.
There are certain nerves the systems in the body that if rope is tied too tightly over, you can cause severe nerve damage. Nerve damage can lead to pain, numbness, tingling, and lack of grip strength.
Here's a quick tip for how to know if the way you're restrained is affecting nerves. If your whole hand feels numb, then you're not in any serious danger. Whole hand numbness is a sign of poor circulation, which can also be caused by tight restraints. But reduce circulation is not an immediate concern. it only causes harm if maintained for very long periods of time.
Nerve damage, on the other hand causes problems sooner. And is indicated by numbness, tingling, or loss of feeling only in part of the hand or some of the fingers. Check your fingertips and see if you can touch all of your fingers to your thumb on one hand, one at a time. So touch your pinky to your thumb, and then your ring finger to your thumb, and so on.
Let's repeat that. if your whole hand is numb, you're okay for now. If only part of your hand or some of your fingers are numb, you need to remove the restraints right away because nerves are being affected.
Now the arms are not the only place where important nerves are located, but it is the most common area for damage to be caused. You should also be careful of nerve clusters in the legs, which can cause similar localized pain, numbness, or tingling.
For those of you who are masochists, it is extremely important to know the difference between feeling uncomfortable or feeling pain on your skin versus feeling pain that could lead to an injury.
How Important is Comfort?
Unless you or your partner have specifically talked about uncomfortable restraints or positions to be forced into or kept in for a period of time, restraints should be comfortable to wear.
10 Best BDSM Restraint Sets
Scandal Over The Door Cross
This is a very sexy piece of equipment that is so simple to use. It is a set of adjustable X-shaped straps that turns nearly any door into a cross restraint. Rods at the ends of the straps keep it secured to the door. This set comes with pairs of soft wrist and ankle cuffs that connect you to the “cross” easily.
Just keep in mind that this toy is best for short-term sex play. It is not designed to hold someone’s weight if they get too tired to stand and is not for suspension play.
- Easy to pack and travel with.
- Easy to use.
- D-ring attachments allow the restrained partner to turn their wrists and ankles to adjust positioning.
- Caps on the rods can fall off but are easily fixed with glue.
DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Wrist to Thigh Restraint
These cuffs look really sexy and are different from many restraint sets because they tie the hands to the thighs. They look like a set of leather garter belts.
You won’t be fully restrained in these, but you will have limited use of your hands since they can’t move away from the sides of your legs.
- Made of attractive black leather.
- Lined with comfortable suede.
- Size-adjustable with buckles, making them more secure than Velcro cuffs.
- Stays secure against squirmy bottom partners.
- Although adjustable, they only come in one size and won’t fit individuals with thighs larger than 27 inches.
Bondage Boutique Soft Collar-to-Wrist Cuffs
The Bondage Boutique Soft Collar-to-Wrist Cuffs keeps your hands restrained behind your back. The cuffs attach to a strap that is attached to a collar, and the set comes with a lead leash as well.
The strap is adjustable so that you can make the restraint easier or more difficult to tolerate by pulling the hands into lower or higher positions. Providing more give allows this restraint set to be used by less flexible individuals (keep in mind that it can be difficult for some people to reach their wrists all the way behind their back).
- Soft and comfortable with fleece lining.
- Easy to adjust.
- The design makes it easy to choke in the collar if the restraint is too tight.
Purple Fleece Lined Garment Leather Wrist Cuffs
I love the beautiful purple color of these leather cuffs. A lot of bondage gear comes in black only, and although black is sexy, it’s fun to get toys and gear in other color options. The garment leather these are made from is more flexible than other types of leather, making them a comfortable option. They’re also lined in black fleece, which is soft against the wrists.
These cuffs are secured with metal buckles and have metal D-rings to secure them to various other body parts or furniture pieces via ropes or straps.
- Beautiful color.
- Soft and comfortable.
- Durable buckles and metal D-rings for further restraint.
- Matching purple ankle cuffs and collar are available.
- More expensive than many other handcuffs.
Silicone Locking Wrist Cuffs
This is a unique set of handcuffs. Unlike most other cuffs, they’re made of silicone, which makes them both flexible and sturdy. They’re also unlikely to irritate skin or cause any allergies. And if you’re looking for something durable and long-lasting that is not made of leather, these are your best bet for restraints.
They have strong metal buckles for adjusting the size and securing the cuffs. They also have an O-ring for attaching locks, straps, or leashes.
- A better option than vegan leather for those who don’t use animal products.
- Non-allergenic and safe for skin.
- Durable and comfortable.
- Somewhat expensive.
Premium Garment Leather Wrist Cuffs
Garment leather is a really nice choice for handcuffs. It's soft, flexible, and comfortable. And these come in several color choices, including black, pink, and red. They are 1 ½ inches wide, making them narrower in size than many of the cheaper cuff designs, but this does not reduce their quality at all. Because the garment leather they're made from is so soft and supple, they are not lined with anything else.
- Comfortable and strong.
- Beautiful to wear, with color options.
- Matching ankle cuffs are available.
- Occasionally runs out of stock, but can be made to order with just a little longer time for delivery.
Some spreader bar style stocks come in just one width, which can make it difficult for people with different heights or flexibility to fully enjoy the toy. But this spreader bar style stock set is adjustable from 18 to 26 inches, making it adaptable for different individuals and different play positions.
The set of cuffs farthest from the center are swivel-mounted, so the person being restrained does have some level of movement available to them. This is really good because being able to move just a little bit allows the restrained person to alleviate any discomfort or to restore circulation if they've lost the feeling in their extremities a bit.
- Easy to adjust.
- Sturdy, high-quality construction.
- Adjustable cuff sizes for both the inner and outer set of cuffs.
- Versatile, as you can put either wrists or ankles in the inner or outer cuffs.
- Somewhat expensive.
Neon Angel Bust Harness, Leather
This harness attaches around the neck like a collar and under the chest. It is both a functional piece and just beautiful to wear either as lingerie or BDSM wear for a play party. It is available in either neon pink or neon yellow.
- Super cute neon color.
- Sexy design.
- Size adjustable.
- Includes d-rings to attach lead leash.
- The hardware is nickel-plated and May cause skin sensitivities and some individuals.
This arm binder is a great way to restrain the arms behind the back if you don't have experience with rope, or if you do have experience with rope and you just don't feel like tying. It's made of flexible garment leather and has a d-ring attachment point. The adjustable design also takes safety into consideration with straps that do not cross the main nerve bundle in the tops of the arms.
- Look sexier than just handcuffs.
- Restrains the hands and arms safely and effectively.
- Made of soft, comfortable garment leather.
- Available in black or red.
Jute Rope, Natural
Natural jute rope may not sound super exciting, but it is a staple in BDSM play bags for rope bondage enthusiasts. Unlike the other restraint sets on this list that do particular things, having several pieces of rope in your toy bag allows you to perform a whole variety of restraints. You can even use rope for decorative restraints. This particular brand of jute rope is conditioned with natural oils and beeswax to make it more supple.
With rope you can make your restraint ties as comfortable or uncomfortable as you please. As a general rule, the more passes you make with the rope and the wider the band is, the more comfortable the tie is. Plus, you can tie off your partner to furniture or use the rope itself as a leash.
- Extremely versatile.
- Made of natural materials.
- Doesn’t require d-rings to attach someone to furniture.
- Requires education and practice to use.
My Top Picks to Help You With Your Shopping
All of these sets are great.
But if you really need help narrowing down your options, here is what I suggest:
Top Pick for Versatility
Natural Jute Rope will probably always be my top pick for an affordable, versatile toy.
It works for all body types and all flexibility levels because you adjust the size of the tie and you can use multiple lengths of rope together. And yes, you can make a simple set of handcuffs with rope if that's what you want.
Top Pick for Ease-of-Use
The Adjustable Stocks are a great option for restraining someone simply and easily.
They still come with a bit of versatility in use and allow for different levels of flexibility, but don't require the skill or practice of jute rope.
Top Pick for Handcuffs
The Premium Garment Leather Wrist Cuffs really are sleek-looking and well-made.
They are a set of handcuffs that will last you for years, as the quality of these cuffs is by far the best I've ever seen. If you're looking for quality, this is it.