It can be awkward asking someone for advice on what BDSM gear you should purchase. Especially when you’re a beginner.

I completely understand, and that’s why I’ve made this guide.

Find out, from someone with experience, what you should be looking for as you select your first set of bondage gear…


Why People Practice Bondage?

First of all, let’s address the elephant in the room.

Are you weird for wanting to try out BDSM, and bondage in particular?

Absolutely not!

In fact, mental health professionals have determined that people who practice BDSM are just as psychologically healthy as the general population, and many studies indicate they tend to be even better off mentally than the typical individual.

Bondage is really about developing higher levels of trust and intimacy with your partner or partners. It’s not the kind of thing you do with a hook-up.

Think about it.

Which scenario requires more trust:

  1. Having sexy time in a manner that you can see everything happening and have total control of your limbs to change position or leave?
  2. Or having sexy time with a blindfold on, your arms and legs tied down, and not knowing what your partner is going to do next?

Clearly the second scenario requires a higher degree of trust. And that level of heightened emotion is part of what makes bondage exciting.

Of course, there are other reasons that people engage in bondage, as well. Some like the feeling of being small that being restrained in certain positions gives them. Some find the aesthetic of a tied up person beautiful. Some enjoy the pain sensations or physical challenge of intense bondage.

There’s no wrong reason for liking bondage, as long as everyone involved has given informed consent.

What is Consent?

Speaking of that, it’s important to remember that consenting to have sex with someone and consenting to BDSM activities with them are two separate things.

If someone springs bondage activities on you without any previous discussion, you are within your rights to stop engaging in any kind of sexy or kinky activities with them.

You should also make sure to discuss these activities with any partner you would like to restrain or have restrain you, and get their consent to participate. It is NOT sexy to “surprise” someone with activities you’ve never discussed before.

What to Look for in Beginner Kits

Safety

You may see more experienced BDSM practitioners using rope for bondage. But this is a learned skill that requires many hours of practice before you should jump into restraining your partner with rope.

Please practice the right way to tie and rope someone and review the safety procedures before ever putting rope on your partner.

The good news is that bondage kits make restraining someone safe and easy, with fewer risks than those associated with rope bondage. It’s a great place for beginners to start, to find out if bondage is something they like. And many people prefer to stick with these kinds of restraints even after they’re more experienced in BDSM.

After all, BDSM is more about the experience than the particular tools you use.

Comfort

Now, the point of a BDSM activity is not always for the restrained partner to be comfortable. But when it comes to your first set of restraints, you want to ease into the experience. That’s why I suggest looking for a restraint set that has soft, comfortable cuffs for your ankles or wrists when you’re first trying out bondage.

Durability

The items on this list are not going to be top of the line. They are very specifically for beginners who are exploring and trying out new activities or sensations. More durable items definitely got preference for making the list of recommended bondage kits because, well, when you tie someone up, the idea is that they stay tied up until you release them. A broken restraint spoils the mood.

So, here are some great choices right now.

Top 10 Bondage Kits Worth Buying

1. Tracey Cox Supersex Bondage Kit

Image Source: Lovehoney.com
Check Best Price →

The Tracey Cox Supersex Kit is a 5-piece set that comes with a blindfold and 4 wrist and ankle tethers.

The wrist and ankle restraints are made of soft fabric that won’t hurt the skin while still keeping you or your partner securely tied up. Believe me, comfort is important, even if you plan to torture them a little, because it ensures that your experience can last longer.

The tethers secure with Velcro for easy release if things get too intense (or one of you just needs to go to the bathroom). That’s part of what makes this set a good choice for those inexperienced in being restrained. Knowing you could get out provides some security while exploring new interests.

The restraints themselves are good quality for the price. The blindfold, however, is made of thin material that doesn’t completely obscure view.

Pros:

  • Inexpensive.
  • Padded and comfortable.

Cons:

  • Blindfold is poor quality.

2. Lovehoney Oh! Get Started Tie & Tease Kit

Check Best Price →

This kit is great for newbies because all the tools it comes with are relatively safe and require little knowledge to use.

The restraints are soft and silky, so you’ll be restrained comfortably, not painfully.

And the feather tickler that is included is a great place to start for sensation play. Like the feeling of goosebumps, anyone? Because your partner will be giving them to you with this sensual set.

The Lovehoney Oh! Get Started Tie & Tease Kit comes with just 2 restraints instead of 4, making it a bit less intimidating if you’re unsure about having all of your limbs tied up.

Like the Tracey Cox Supersex Kit, this set also comes with a blindfold. You can explore sensation play while restrained and blindfolded.

Pros:

  • Very inexpensive.
  • Safe for beginners at BDSM.
  • Well-made blindfold that stays in place.
  • Comfortable, sturdy restraints.

Cons:

  • Feathers on the tickler don’t play well with body fluids or lubricant and come out easily.

3. Bondage Boutique Bound to Please Under Mattress Restraint

Check Best Price →

If you squirm a lot while being pleasured (or if you have a squirmy partner), this set of restraints is perfect.

Whichever partner is restrained, you’re not breaking free. That’s thanks to the nylon straps connected to cuffs by metal connector rings.

The interesting thing about this kit is that there’s very little chance of pulling free because the restraints are not actually tied to the bed. Instead, all four cuffs are connected by nylon leads, and you simply put the center of the leads under the mattress to hold it in place. All four cuffs are essentially connected to one another.

But the manufacturer did keep safety in mind, which I love to see! The cuffs are attached with metal pieces that are much like the end of a pet leash, so if you need to get free, your partner can quickly and easily disconnect the cuffs to let you up. These restraints even come with two different color options: black or white.

Pros:

  • Easily removable for safe, quick release.
  • Color options available.
  • Doesn’t have to be fastened to the bed.
  • Stronger than less expensive restraints, so you can pull on them a bit (good for squirmers!).

Cons:

  • Straps are adjustable, but can slip loose a bit.
  • Difficult to change strap length mid-session.

4. Hot Tie & Cuff Set

Image Source: AdamAndEve.com
Check Best Price →

The nice thing about this restraint set is that it doesn’t require a bed or other furniture to use.

It’s a set of four cuffs (two for the wrists and two for the ankles) that can be connected to a central connecting piece with metal clips.

The clips are very much like the clips on a pet leash and function the same way, so they’re easy to use and make it simple to be released if you need to change positions. Remember, you always want to be thinking about safety when you’re playing with bondage toys. It’s okay to cause discomfort, but most partners are not okay with actually being injured during sexy times.

The connectors on these are fairly short, but that doesn’t mean your bondage options are limited. Restraint toys can be used in many ways as long as you have an imagination (or a kinky mentor). You can, for instance, only use the cuffs on ankles so that your partner has to use tiny steps to walk.

Or you can only cuff their wrists and use the other connectors to tie them to bed post or other piece of furniture. Or, you can use this set for a traditional hog-tie with their hands and feet secured behind their back. Just make sure whoever is being tied up has the flexibility for that one.

Pros:

  • Versatile usage that doesn’t require furniture.
  • Thick, comfortable cuffs.

Cons:

  • The restraints are fairly easy to get out of, which can shatter the illusion of being tied up.
  • Not durable for a struggling restrained partner.

5. Sportsheets Expandable Spreader Bar & Cuff Set

Check Best Price →

This is the only spreader bar set I’ve included in this list, but it’s still a good option for beginners.

You can adjust the bar to the width you prefer to keep your legs or arms spread at a particular distance. Like many of the other restraint kits, this one comes with comfortable cuffs that attach to the ends of the spreader bar.

Rather than restraining you to a tie-off point, spreader bars keep your body held in a particular position, which introduces some interesting play opportunities. Don’t worry; you still won’t be able to get away easily with your ankles locked apart, even if you’re not tied down.

It’s a different option for partners who don’t want to be tied down to a piece of furniture. Of course, it can also be used in conjunction with other restraints. There’s no rule that you can only use one restraint style at a time!

Pros:

  • The metal is nickel-free and unlikely to cause allergic reactions.
  • Lightweight but durable.
  • Includes D-ring attachment point on the center of the bar, for creative uses.

Cons:

  • Can be loud when the metal attachments hit the metal spreader bar. Not for discreet play time.

6. Frisky Tame Me 8 Piece Bondage Set

Check Best Price →

This set is a little pricier than some of the other beginner bondage kits on this list, but if you’re interested in trying out several different new toys at once, it’s a good value.

It comes with 8 pieces, including a blindfold, Velcro-close collar, leash, wrist cuffs, ball gag with breathing holes, a mini flogger, and a feather tickler.

By trying out different things, you can learn what you and your partner like so you can invest in more of those kinds of toys in the future. You shouldn’t rule something out until you’ve tried it. You might be surprised about the number of things you enjoy more than you thought you would. I like that this set allows you to do that without spending too much initially.

Pros:

  • Affordable variety of toys for beginners to try.

Cons:

  • Materials are not the best quality; not made for long-term use.

7. Evening Tea Bondage Set

Check Best Price →

The Evening Tea Bondage Set is one of only two kits I recommend on this beginner’s list that includes rope. As I mentioned at the beginning of this review, rope can be trickier (and riskier) than it may look.

If you’d like to learn to restrain your partner with rope, seek out instructional tutorials or a mentor, and start with tying fairly safe areas of the body like the wrists or ankles. Cotton rope, like the black rope included with this set, is comparatively comfortable to tie with.

The set also comes with red and black Velcro wrist cuffs, a matching Velcro collar, a leash, a flogger, faux leather paddle, and a feather tickler. All of this is stored in a box shaped to look like a book called Evening Tea.

Pros:

  • Very comfortable, fuzzy cuffs and collar.
  • Nice quality paddle and flogger for a beginner set.
  • Hides your toys away on your bookshelf.

Cons:

  • The chain linking the cuffs is low-quality and not made for struggling in or pretending to break free from.

8. Neck & Wrist Restraints

Image Source: StockRoom.com
Check Best Price →

This restraints set is different from anything else on this list.

The Velcro-close collar has an attached nylon strap with two rows of metal D rings. The wrist cuffs can be attached at multiple levels depending on which D rings you clip them to. And you can restrain the hands either in front of the body or behind.

The multiple attachment points also make it possible to attach the collar to leashes or other tie-off points. Or you can add additional ties or restraints to other body parts and attach them to the nylon strap, as well. It’s a simple but quite versatile option.

And this particular set of collar and cuff restraints is made of faux leather with a soft lining that will last longer than the fuzzy material most inexpensive cuffs are made from.

Pros:

  • Variety of restraint and tie-off options in one item.
  • More durable than fuzzy-style cuffs.

Cons:

  • Have to unclip the cuffs from the D rings to change the position, unlike some more expensive options that are adjustable while wearing.

9. S&M Sweet Punishment Kit

Check Best Price →

This set comes with the more traditional “police officer” style of cuffs, though they are lined with removable fuzzy black material for comfort.

It also includes a nice faux leather paddle that gives just a small amount of extra sting compared to using your bare hand (and it saves your hand for longer sessions).

Again, this is a beginner’s kit, and if you find you like the sensation of being paddled, you’ll likely want to upgrade to a sturdier, longer-lasting option in the future. But this one is definitely great for testing the waters.

It also has a blindfold and a “Dominant/submissive Agreement”. The agreement is really more of a novelty or a starting off point for negotiations. Remember that no matter what aspects of BDSM you experiment in, what you do is always your choice and requires your consent.

Although some people do like to make written contracts for their BDSM activities, know that there are no “required” aspects. How you play is up to you and your partner.

Pros:

  • Fur-lining on the cuffs can be removed if you want more intense sensations from the restraints.
  • Cute “XOXO” design in red on the paddle.

Cons:

  • If you like paddling, the paddle in this kit is not going to last long.
  • The cuffs don’t work for larger wrists.

10. Lovehoney All You Need Bondage Kit

Check Best Price →

Okay, this is the most expensive set on this beginner’s bondage kit guide.

But that is because it includes a full 20 pieces, so you can try out a variety of kinky and BDSM activities. Don’t know what you like? Then this might be worth getting.

And then once you find the pieces that work for you, you can look for higher quality versions of only the items you really enjoy. That way you don’t waste money buying top of the line toys that you never use.

The set includes a blindfold, rubber flogger, sensory pinwheel, collar, adjustable nipple clamps, advanced nipple clamps, clitoral clamp, breathable ball gag, 5 meters of rope, waterproof bullet vibrator, g-spot vibrator, single-use vibrating cock ring, textured penis stroker, kegel balls, suction-cup dildo, slimline butt plug, anal beads, wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, and an under-mattress restraint system.

Pros:

  • Gives you many options to explore.
  • Inexpensive for the number of items you can try.

Cons:

  • Most of the items are definitely of lower quality, so if you like them you’ll want to upgrade.
  • The restraints are not particularly comfortable.

The Best of the Best

So which kit do I recommend most of these 10?

It really depends what you’re going for:

Best Multi-Piece Set

If you’re looking for discreet play and a well-equipped bondage set that allows you to try out multiple BDSM toys, go for the Evening Tea Bondage Set.

It is the best multi-piece set. And you can hide it in the book-shaped box it comes with.

Learn more about the Evening Tea 7-Piece Bondage Set by clicking here.

Best for Durability and Ease of Use

Another discreet option that’s easy to hide away is the Bound to Please Under Mattress Restraint.

It’s durable, adjustable, and doesn’t require special skills to tie to furniture. Plus, if you want to squirm in the restraints, this set holds up.

Learn more about the Bondage Boutique Bound to Please Under Mattress Restraint by clicking here.

Best for Value

The Lovehoney Oh! Get Started Tie & Tease 4-piece kit is a great kit for trying out sturdy, comfortable restraints and a blindfold for an affordable price.

Learn more about the Lovehoney Oh! Get Started Tie & Tease Kit by clicking here.

Those are my top 3 picks right now.

I hope you enjoy your experiences with these toys.


Jessica Winter
Jessica Winter

Hey I'm Jessica! Thanks so much for reading my work. I've been studying the Sex Therapy industry for years, and my absolute passion is helping men and women improve their sex lives! I really hope my work here is helpful, and I will continue to do my best at providing value for you!